Better In Time

University life seems to be the thing that I remember most right now.
From the very first day of registration,
Until the day I got my clearance form filled and verified -
Childhood seem to be rather uneventful.

* * *

The memories;
All the bitter and the sweet,
Stirred together in a martini glass.
I took a sip yesterday.
I am taking another sip today.
I will take a little sip tomorrow.

The bonds that were built,
I hope they will never break or lose it's strength.
The friendship that we have,
Is worth more than the riches of this world.

The laughter and tears that we have shared
The blood and sweat that we have poured out
They will all be remembered well,
For what we have done is nothing less than HISTORY

To my roommates - Felix, Jack, Jia Ann and Aloy,
My best mates - Jesse, Michelle, Elvina, John, Vinod and Xiao Qi
All my friends from July 04, COP Tronoh and more...

I miss you all...

Looking forward to see you all again during graduation!

* * *

Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
It'll all get better in time
Even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to
I'll all get better in time

* * *

Update Patch v1.0

It’s been so long since i last posted! I didn’t even have the patience to sit down at my pc and do things on it like I used to when I was in UTP. Life is so much different, and yeah… I spend so little time doing the things that I used to do when I was in UTP.

Missing all of my friends, and all the late night/ early morning mamak, gaming, drinking, food hunting session! Ah… Kuching, Kuching, I longed to be here, but suddenly, I feel that I have nothing much to do here…

To the SOUTH !!

On the 26th Dec, we packed everything nicely into John's Wira, and we started the drive to Bukit Jalil, KL. Before reaching Bukit Jalil, we stopped for a little bit of "early breakfast" or "late supper" (whatever is ur preference lah) at MURNI (some sort of "high class" mamak; they practically have every kind of food you can think of, from clay pot lou shi fan, Roti Hawaii, Spaghetti Cabonara)

Then, after putting my things into Abby's place, we drove to Banting. When we reached there, it was about 7 am I think so we all went to sleep till about 2 pm lah... Then we went to a keropok heaven.. I think u can read about this in John's blog lah... And Xiao Qi, being so nice, "chia" all of us to a wonderful mountain of keropok. So, during lunch, we were trying to convince sweet Melissa to come with us to JB, and even called her mum to ask if she could come, but then leh, we failed lah... again, it's in John's blog. SO...

John and I sent Melissa to Subang, and then we went to Jamie's place, parked the car, put things in Jamie's room, and took the train to Pudu Raya. Had some super expensive Nga Pou Kai Fan, BUT it was nice lah! :P

SO hor we took the SS INTERNATIONAL bus to JB after that loh...  The bus ride hor, like super long lah.. but talked to John a lot in the bus, and got to know a side of him I never knew. A very good side lah ah. not bad lah.. He's a very good person, loves Jesus... AND so coming back to the story... we reached John's home around.... (kenot rem time) so anyways, met John's mum, and she's a really super cool mum lah! That's all I can describe her. LoL!

Then we slept lah.... till very late the next day... that would be 28th Dec de... ok lah.. that's all i gonna tell for now.. Pictures and more stories in next post! so stay tuned!

Flight Landed

Ate Madagascar style;
Sang, Rapped and Screamed,
To the hearts content and more.
Tunes from the east and west
It didn't matter.

Capturing MEMORIES
Treasuring the good times.
Visited the sweet lane in Ipoh
This would be the last time
We hang out together

A little celebratory wine
A bunch of buddies to share with
A small celebration it might have been
A celebration it still is

A prayer of thanks to God
For His everlasting love and faithfulness
And a toast to us, for completing it.

A long journey it has been,
But somehow we made it through
To all my friends, especially those in
ICT and BIS;
CONGRATULATIONS!

 

+1

I had a wonderful day yesterday. The "wonderfulness" started around midnight of Sept 11th. I want to thank everyone who made it extra fun and special for me.

• An angel called from sooo far away and with her angels sang over the phone!
• 3 hair styling professionals came into my room and shampooed my hair for me.
• Mum and dad and sis for calling
• Had a good chat with a good friend till the sun came up
• Derrick for insisted on having a birthday dinner
• Jack who helped organize the whole thing
• Jack, Elvina, Melvin, Soonie, Debbie, Melvin, Derrick, Jesse, Kevin, Jackie, Jia Ann and Pkiat who all came together to celebrate with me
• Everyone who called; Charles, Chung....
• Everone who texted their wishes...
  
• Everyone who wished me personally...

Thank everyone who remembered my birthday!! This birthday has been a wonderful one, and it lacked nothing except for a birthday cake, but I don't really fancy it... so it doesn't matter.. Really glad to have friends who made yesterday special.

Thank you all, thank God for surrounding me with such wonderful friends and families, and I appreciate everything that happened yesterday.

The Vow

Taking it for granted,

Being too comfortable,

In a place where I feel I do not need you,

I strayed.

You called me many times,

I told myself that I must not leave you.

Yet my feet walked a different direction.

I desired to do what I wasn't doing.

I did what my selfishness wanted.

I thought I was safe

For I always played at the border.

I played with sparks, which started a small fire.

I enjoyed the warmth that it gave.

I knew what was coming,

Still, I chose to lay beside the fire.

When I awoke, the fire had surrounded me.

I knew it was coming.

I didn't call out to you, for I know I should be responsible.

I have forgotten your goodness while I struggled

With my own strength, I tried

I tried and tried, I pushed, I crawled,

I knew I needed your help.

Little did I know,

Your hands were always near me,

Ready to lift me from the flames.

For when I called your name, You saved me.

Then I remembered your words

"I will never leave you,

Nor will I ever forsake you"

I now know, this journey is not a short one.

Though I want it to be, I have to persevere.

The struggles are not short lived.

Though you have saved me from the flames,

I must keep myself from the matches that started them.

I am weak, but in you, I am strong.

Updates

It's March already!

29th Feb, we celebrated it with a few clinks, and a lot of laughs.

The 29 days, has been very eventful. Life changing moments, moments that make me think about what I'm doing here, moments that I will appreciate all my life, moments worth all the treasures of this world.

Final year of undergraduate studies. I wish it was not as hectic. Just one more year, I need all my faith in Christ to get through this. I have got to get through this, the last mile - the last ounce of strength I have left, I must strive on.

The sun sets, and rises again. So must I, when I fall, to rise again. The weight seems to overwhelm, I should throw away dead weight and take on "God weight". Things I realise, but I have no action.

2 Weeks ago, we joined COP Ipoh for their CNY service. So many people performed so many things, like singing, dancing, and even opera! It's my first time, seeing the old stage performance.

The service was great, and the real reason to celebrate was that through this service, about 10 people gave their lives to Christ! It's really amazing how God can touch people's lives through the performances, the simple sermon. Yeah, God is God!

*      *      *

It was Boss Teng's brithday last week. We celebrated with him at KFC. All of us stuffed our stomach so full of chicken that I have a feeling that none of us will ever go to KFC the next few months!

 

March is here! Exams are coming too. It's so busy, hectic, sometimes unfulfilling, but I thank God for the good times, I give Him praise for the good things that come my way, I thank Him for the times when He held me up during my trials. 

Uni life

Yep, I'm back in UTP already. Moving really kills and preparing for FYP sucks. Choosing a title. Since when is choosing a topic so difficult? I'm most probably going to be doing my project alone and I really hate doing projects alone. I just don't like to do everything by myself. It just totally sucks.

Here I am, blogging at 3 am in the morning, when I have a 10 am lecture which I must attend, and there seems to be clashes. Argh! I just don't like this - beginning of a semester. How I wish I can have things much easier.

Well, I better get it done on the excel and print it out tomorrow.

Goodbye.. I'll miss you...

Penang...

I will definitely miss you...

I will miss you for the way you make me feel.

I will miss the fun places like QBM, Perangin, Gurney, Auto City...

I will miss looking at you who is so familiar yet always seem so new.

I will miss you for the way even the simplest food that you cook up seem so special.

This is my last week here in Penang. Now I wish that it will not end so soon. Going back to UTP, I will miss all the wonderful delicious food in Penang!!! Arrrgh!! It's just two hours away.. but.. it's still FAR... Penang hawkers... they are the best weh... I don't even miss food from my hometown... *sob*

It's the end of my internship! No more going to work from 8 am to 5 pm... No more writing programs, no more meeting with people just to have a 30 minute discussion about one issue, no more sneaking out of the office early, no more going out for lunch in all the wonderful eating places in Penang and even getting bored with the wonderful food.... Aaaaa.. I will miss the food here the most!

Going back to studying, is not going to be easy. I just hope that things will really get better in UTP. I hope that it will not be the same as the precious semesters... A better final year in UTP!

Sidetracking

I have been running away from Your discipline.
While at the same time, I ask that You teach me to be more like You.

I want the easy way to You,
But no one ever said the road that leads to eternal life is easy.

I want to be brave and stay where You want me to stay,
Sit where you want me to sit, and listen to You.

I thank you for the weekend of encouragement,
of speaking to me, reminding me of the ultimate goal.

I have faith to believe You have heard my prayers,
The desires of my heart are all known to You.

I have nothing to hide from You,
Nor can I hide anything from You.

A season of testing, is what I must pass to grow,
A season of trusting, is what I must learn now.
A season of believing, is what I have in You,
A season of discipline, is how I become stronger.

I thank you Abba Father,
I love you Abba Father.

Still quite a long way to go...

Well, I just found out today that I will only be able to afford buying my own car when i start working. I've checked with Maybank, and they have this superb car loan for graduates... As long as you have a minimum income of Rm1500 every month. I'm only going to start getting that kind of money when I finish my degree lar. In the mean time, I'd just have to rely on other people for transport and stuff like that. Do I believe God for a car? Honestly, the answer is no.. Else I'd already have it by now right?

K lar, the car is just a secondary concern... gotta go.. time to leave d office.

Last week here?

This is a post... about me... and my last week here in UTP before I leave for Penang for 8 months. Kinda feel sad right now. Just 20 minutes ago , i went downstairs to bid goodbye to my best friend in uni; Jesse. He just left for home with sweet Melissa, her boyfriend Kelvin, and the "all knowing" William. The last few days, it didn't hit me (this feeling of sadness that I won't see them for the next 1 year), but now, I do feel the pain in my heart. I feels like the time when i left Kuching to come here to study. It's been nearly 3 years since i left Kuching. So many things have happened. SO so so so much, when I look back... Some things I regret, somethings I always will cherish, but all in all, I want to thank God for taking me through safely. That I'm still alive and well. God, thank you for Your grace and mercy over my life. I truly am grateful for all that You have done in my life.

June 4th, I will report for work. Don't know what to expect, don't even know if i'm ready. It's just that all these things have not yet sunk in yet. I feel that I'm really slow sometimes when it comes to these things.. anyway, I still have 1 more paper to go, this coming wednesday, and after that, i can be really really worried about moving to Penang and getting settled there.

I miss home so much. Miss my parents, miss friends back home, miss Bethany... Life is so different without u guys. I hope Penang will be a fresh breath. That there, I will find God again, that there, I will again, breathe in God's breath of life and be renewed in Him.

* no pics to put... aih... will take some in Penang with the pretty gals there... haha =D

Penang, here i come!!

I can't remember when i fall in love with Penang. Its a small island off the coast of Kedah, with the world's craziest, most notorious drivers I've ever seen, but I just love it. I've been there 4 times so far for vacation, and the food there is amazing. Never failing to satisfy my taste buds. Always able to find food that I cannot find anywhere else in Malaysia, except for the lovely Sarawak Laksa and "Mee Kolok".

Next month (June 4) I'm going to report to work at Agilent Technologies Malaysia in Penang Bayan Lepas industrial Zone. Woohoo!! I want to thank all those who prayed for me, even Pastor Ryan, and I believe that my parents were also praying for me. Really praise God that I got this company. God is indeed going to do something great in Malaysia and I believe that I'm going to be a part of it, as long as I do my part. Just so excited when I think of it, being a part of God's huge plan for Malaysia. Don't matter what it is, even a small thing, I'd be glad to be a part of it.

Just want to share with u guys, that God has been speaking into my life, and He has been encouraging me to move forward, to take leaps of faith, to get up and start running, to start going faster maybe because time is running out, but God is not letting me go yet. He will never let me go. No matter how far I run, He will still catch up with me, and bring me back. "Thank u God, for never letting me go, for never forsaking me". Do keep me in prayer, sometimes, i feel lost, I don't know where to go, what to do, and sometimes, i struggle with just picking up my bible and reading it during my quiet time. Still, God is good, for though I have been so tough He has been ever gracious.

I'm having my finals next week. This semester, I feel so lagging behind, with regards to studies, I've never felt so stupid since form 2. I feel that I have left God out of my studies life, and I am struggling now. God brought me in here, I believe that He will take me out successfully too. I just have to trust Him, and do my part. Time flew really quickly, it's like suddenly I wake up to find that my exams are in 1 week. There's no point regretting the things that I have done, I have to move on, pick up from where i left, and do my best.

Missing u guys in Klang, munk, sheri especially, and miss uncle Michael and aunt Madeline's warm home. Miss Cheryl (sorry won't be able to be there 4 ur bday), miss Charles (when r u coming back?), miss Pastor Cheli (hope to see you during Christmas at least). miss all the guys in Bethany (how is everything going?). Do e-mail me, think will be more free to mail ppl cause I work 5 days a week only. (Wahaha.. weekends are for God.. )

K lar, gotta get ready for lunch.. hehe... going out for lunch, and when come back, start studying... hohoho... God bless u all, missing u all heaps (sponsor me ticket go home la... or u can hint hint to my parents for me... hahaha... Buy me ticket to come home for a day or 2.. lol)

Internship

This is it. Time is catching up on me. In a few more weeks, I'll be preparing myself to report for work already. This is really something different for me. I've worked before, but on very short periods. Never this long. Anyway, I'm still looking for a place to go to. I haven't got any place confirmed yet. So today, I got a little worried. Since it is TEC (Technology, Education and Career) week, companies are here in my university to hold booths to promote their company and also career opportunities. I took the chance and went there (thank you Thana for sending me there )

Please do pray for me guys, I called up my sister to ask her to help me find a place and she has been sending a lot. A few companies have replied the email, and her friend even helped me to send me resume to a Korean company in Dubai! lolz... Really looking forward to it, and I believe that God will grant me a good place to do my internship. Maybe even someplace where He can use me mightily.

Keep this in ur prayer guys. =D. I don't know for sure where God wants to send me but I'm really excited about Dubai. Not putting too much hope on it though, cause it's so high profile I think. Haha... Well, God will surely be my God who is in control of everything. This is all for now ler. Gotta go, want to catch a little nap before I go and do deco for an exhibition.

The lost episode

Thanks munK for ur reminder. =) yes, it has been a long 2 months. I guess i just couldn't find the time to load this page slowly, and then write posts. I also haven't visited anyone's blog at all these few months. Don't know what's going on anywhere else except for my own little world in university. Life has been really sad I would say, for the past few months, I have been struggling in my walk with my Father, and I just feel so messed up right till this moment. The last 2 weeks it has been worse. I have no motivation to get up early, I choose to sleep late just to make myself feel very very very sleepy then only I go to sleep. Sher, I've not kept my word to keep my series and animes for the holidays. I've been watching them every time they come out. Lol. How to make things right again? The one thing I remember were these words from uncle kevin "sometimes, we just have to bite the bullet". Well, it's hard I must say. I remember that at the time when he told me that, I just nodded my head and say "yes, that's it. It's just a choice I make" now, I'm afraid of that change because I don't want to change then someday go back here again. Sometimes I really hope that God would just take me away from this place, send me back home. Miss Bethany so much, I miss the fellowship of the people, but sometimes, i feel that if i go back, and they knew what's going on with me, I'd be so ashamed to look them in the eye and tell them that everything is ok, because everything is not okay. I just make it seem okay, tell myself everything is okay, and just move on. I mean it's okay in the sense that God is still in control, but there is still something wrong cause I feel so far from God.

I can't even remember my last posting, what I wrote about. Life has just been so so busy. I take any free time that I have to do some unhealthy recreation. I play games on my computer, download series, watch anime.. and most of all, sleep!

A lof of things have happened in the past 2 months. In church, the purchase of the new building was done and the pledges have already been collected. So far, we have reached our pledge target in the first pledge and we want to push for more in the coming pledges. For now, renovation is being done at the new building and I certainly do hope that it can be completed before i leave this university. haha.. Last sunday, it was easter and we had a easter celebration party at the new church building. We had the party outside because firstly, the inside of the church is not ready yet, and there are too many people to fit inside the building, so we had it outside. This is the first time I organized something as big as this, and with the help of a lot of other people, the barbaque party was a success. I have yet to conduct a postmortem with the team yet. =D (Can't find the time is the excuse)

Currently, I'm looking for a place to do my internship. I've applied to quite a number of companies but until now, there has been no replies yet. I applied for this company in Penang (Agilent Technologies) and the response they gave me was that they have gotten my resume and that they are going to see it and then show the HR manager. I would really like to go there, but the only problem is that my parents are encouraging me to go to KL because it's more convenient and that my sister is there, I don't have to worry about getting a place to stay and stuff like that.

Yesterday, I suddenly realized that I have about 1 more month to go before my final exams come up. Right now, I have about 5 projects to complete with a few other assignments to finish up, and more tests to finish. All in the next coming month before my exams. I really hope that this semester I'd be able to do better but looking at the current situation of things, I doubt myself that I'd be able to do well. Still, I want to put hope that I can do well with the help of God. I must buck up in my studies, and stop slacking already. I must say that the biggest obstacle for me is myself. I want to do well, but I am too lazy to make it there, I want things but sometimes, I tell myself, what's the point of trying so hard when you know that you can't get it? Right now, I feel as if all I know to do is to complain. Lolz. Day in and day out, all I ever do is complain that my day is not so good, sometimes, I just go through the motions of the day; wake up, go to class, eat dinner, play games, do a bit of work, watch more movies and series, then more games, then sleep late at night.

Bla bla bla.. I should stop complaining. I just pray that I will get out of this self pitying state as soon as possible, and ask I set my eyes on God, I'm certain that I will find my way home. One miracle that happens everyday is that even though I'm going through such times, I am still able to find joys in some of the things that I do. I want to thank Jesse for always being there for me, accompanying me to DOTA even though he is busy, want to thank Cheryl and Audrey who encouraged me to go on, pointing me in the right direction when I have lost sight of God.

Right now, I wish that time would turn back, turn back 2 years before this, 2 years before I stepped in to UTP. There is no point regretting the things that I have done now, but to look at them and ask myself what lessons have I learned from them. I don't know how, but I guess that sometime in the future, I'll look back at this and with a smile say "thank you" to God for letting me through this and then getting me out of it.

I'll get going now ler, feel that I should take out my bible and spend some quality time with God, and to get the momentum going. Looking forward to the holidays, and also hope to get a good placing for my internship. =)

Letting Go Is Not Easy...

There are many things in life that you come across and at a certain point in time, you realise that it isn't right and you have to let it go, but sometimes you find it just so hard to let go. Especially if it's a person.

Oh Lord, may You hold my hands and lead me in Your ways, that I will let go of the things and people that I have to let go, no matter how precious they might have been to me, or how they have been so much a part of my life. Lead me to the cross where we first met, that I might crucify my flesh and live for You everyday.