Been feeling a little emo recently.. and then today, I heard this song on the radio by Katy Perry, i loved it at first tune. I couldn’t tell that it was Katy Perry until I went to youtube to find the song, because at first, i thought it sounded like Alanis Morissette. Very different from all de other Katy Perry songs, and the video is great, but it had a pretty sad ending to it.
Today i just feel bo mood. Dunno why. Mebi I know but I just dun want to know, so I tell myself I dunno. Anyways, my darling is coming back on monday (according to Dell) so I got something to look forward to next week.
Exam time table out de, I think I'll finish on the 19th Nov. Cool eh?! I want to go home, I also want to go to Bangkok. Which leh? Help me decide! =)
I was at the Passion world tour in KL a few months back, and Pastor Louie said something about a video titled Indescribable.
Last week, I had the opportunity to watch it.
I was awestruck.
Speechless, amazed and in awe.
It rained suddenly, and I didn't close my window, so my laptop got wet, reali wet I think, by the time I reached my room, it was already dry, but my laptop seem to hold on just enough to say goodbye to me, before i turn it off, and forever, it is off. Still duno what spoilt, and I'm gonna call Dell ASAP to get it fixed.
Praise God that my HDD was still working, so means all data is still safe in my HDD.
Anyways, I'm mourning for my lappie. So sad.. so very sad. Feel like my heart is torn, and scarred forever.
T_____T
I hate rusing, and sudden rains.. Super bad combination... :P
I miss Kuching not just because of home, the food, or the weather not even the lovely atmosphere in Kuching. But it is the fellowship, the friends that I have back home.
You guys are always real, so godly, and genuine. Missing all of you already.
*wanted to put a picture, but I remembered.. I've lost ALL my pictures.. all I have are the Bako trip.. :(
I've been loitering around in my room today. Thoughts running through my head, the music seem to keep me sane. The thought of what is coming ahead - 3 weeks of exams. I fear I will lose my sanity.
This semester is a totally gloomy semester. I really want to get out of here quick. Even the thought of being in UTP for another semester makes me feel like it will never end.
I want to go home!!!
1 more month... hang on.. hang on... it's not over yet...
The seasons change,
Time passes never to turn back.
Have I changed?
Looking for the strength to move ahead.
I find myself alone.
I never expected this to come.
Looked for something
Unsure of what is to come.
Assured myself that it will be better
I had doubts that made Thomas a believer.
I held on to nothingness.
For all that I held on to have become distant.
The seasons change,
Thus far I have walked.
Why does my heart falter?
Brighter days are ahead.
I assured myself...
Once the winter has gone by,
Spring shall come again.
When will spring come, I wonder.
It is a feeling I cannot describe.
I don't know what I am looking for.
I just feel empty.
I can't sleep.
I just feel empty.
The finals blues?
When you left, the atmosphere felt like
I was a kite, searching for a dream,
The sky after the rain, will it have the radiance of a sunshine?
I silently stared at the sky, searching for the emotions of being lost.
But I can only smile, hoping for the rainbow after the rain.
TIAN KONG - by Jolin
Last Friday was movie night. The movie title - Facing the giants.
Only one comment, watch it, please do. I'm the kind of guy who don't cry when I watch touching movies, but this movie, gripped my heart, the messages so strong, I had to struggle so hard to hold my tears back. (It's a Christian movie by the way.. and it's not any ordinary Christian movie, it's a movie that described how great is our God.)
Movie 2- The Mist
The first time, I felt so emotional, I felt so into the movie.
In the end, all I could do was scream. Literally scream...
Oh yeah.. do watch it too.
Good night.
The rain poured- I was drenched
The wind raged like a tornado was building
I reached the office, dripping...
I gave him my matrix number, and got my slip.
My fingers were so wet, I was afraid I'd ruin the print.
I wiped my hands on my wet clothes, trying to dry them.
I opened the slip as carefully as my hands could
I peeped inside, to see the grade..
This is my first perfect score. I did it.
Thank you God. Praise be unto you God. Through your guidance and grace, I did well, I did wonderful. Praise You.
I sent you off, a thousand miles away.
You didn't say anything.
I guess during this silent era
We should avoid a distant relationship
I sent you away, to the ends of the earth.
Are you still there?
I will use this lifetime to wait for you
-Abstract from Faraway by Jay Chao-
FaceBook and Friendster? It's just to much to keep up with. :p
WHY do I even have both? Face book has just too much applications.. I won't be going there for a long while.
* * *
Anyways.. this is the pizza I had somewhere in Penang at a place called Golden Crab restaurant.
Just add RM 2 for extra cheese, and this is what you get. SUPERB pizza. YUM~
After the late dinner, we went for HITMAN at GSC Gurney.
If you've played the game, you would like this movie very much, but if you have not, maybe it's time you get to know who this Agent 47 is.
The damp air reminds me of home.
Feeling empty, I wish to just wither away.
What am I pursuing? I ask myself.
A long list I produce.
The joy in my heart is faint, seems to be gone.
My strength has been drained away.
How much longer must I hold on?
I look to you, longing for your embrace.
The air in Penang is different today. The air is damp, the clouds hover over the skies, blocking away the sun. I guess this is how Europe is like. Always gray. The air is cool, and extra cold in the office today.
I did something really stupid today. I was working on my project, and I added a new chunk of code that retrieves data from a database, and somehow, I messed up everything. The whole project interface can't be edited anymore in design mode anymore. (Forgive me for all the technical stuff.. if you don't understand, just think of it as a white board that you can draw things, but now, the white board had been blocked, and you can't change anything anymore) The solution was to start all over again, but well, good thing this happened much earlier before I added a whole lot more functionality to the application.
Well, who to blame? The compiler for not warning me about the warning before compiling and saving, or me who made the mistake? Well, I would choose not to blame myself. :p
Anyway, I have made a copy of the project and I am reminding myself to do it everyday. =) Just incase I do make another mistake like that, I can just revert to the last editing that I made. The most time I would lose will be 1 day instead of losing weeks or months of work!
The rain has been pouring the whole day today. It's such a nice weather to sleep in. I hope tomorrow will be the same. Cool and cloudy, and gray cause that's how I feel at the moment. Well better still, a chilly day in Malaysia~! But I guess when that day comes, the world weather is so seriously messed up~
* * * *
Sometimes I feel that there's no meaning to all that I'm doing. Feel like the things that I do have no substance. No form, no "solid" matter. Anyone felt that way before, or is it just me thinking too much or too little? Pretty messed in the head I think. =S
I need some professional help I think.. xD
OK.. enough crapping.. Should start seeking direction from Father.
Father, grant me Your grace, grant me some strength, breathe into me again.
I want to be where you are,
In Your presence I am free, blessed and loved.
I want to spend my days in Your arms,
In your embrace, I am free, blessed and loved.
I want to run after You,
Guided by You, I am free, blessed and loved.
The smile on her face,
The sound of her voice,
The way she looks,
The way she walks.
How I long to see her smile again,
To hear her call my name,
To see her eyes gaze into mine,
Watching her take her steps, just makes my heart buzz with excitement.
Jubilee year celebration for Malaysia.
I must say I'm proud to be a Malaysian. I'm sure there are some of you out there who think otherwise, and that Malaysia is not good enough, but I feel, Malaysia is indeed a blessed land.
What more can I say? This is where I'm born, I believe that this land is a land of destiny if we are to answer our calls. Amen?
Well, what I did for tonight was:
1. Ate Mc D for dinner
2. DOTA at home
3. Blog (doing now)
4. Pack up ( for tmr la)
Hehe...
Merdeka! Merdeka! Merdeka!
Today ho, Spoke to the girl sitting beside me after what felt like a long time we had this silence between us. Don't know why, but the past few days, ... maybe weeks, we didn't talk. Then today, I just plucked up my courage and offered her some "Wrigley's Eclipse mints" hehe.. So got talk a bit lor.. Feel so weird like sit beside each other but never talk. Lolxx.. The boys school syndrome.. hahaha...
Well, don't know what to do now, maybe I should do more dotaing.. hehe.. Or sleep.. lalala...
Ok ler... better start packing, and sleeping soon.. Leaving early tmr...
Happy Birthday Malaysia!
Merdeka! Merdeka! Merdeka!
Just reached back in Penang 2 hours ago.
I spent my weekend at UTP and today, as I got into the car to come back to Penang, I didn't want to leave. Partly was because of xq, but also because I didn't get to spend much time with my friends. All I had was a few mere minutes with them, even those moments are precious.
Convofair was great except for the muddy field which, by the way is the same for every year. They tried their best to keep the field dry and "walkable" by putting sand but well, i think they should put more la! haha.. :p
Didn't fail to get the cheap Zan's pizza that is there every year too.. Uni is really fun.. If not for the exams, I think I would love to spend my life in Uni.. hehe..
Melissa, I still want your cookies ler.. Bake some more when I go back to UTP again yah!
The weekend was good, going back to uni brings me life's little joys. I'm glad I went back, even though the time seemed to fly away, and I wanted my weekend again. Seeing the people that brought so much joys in my life before I left for my internship really lifted my heart a little. Seeing Mich, Melissa, Felix, John, Vinod, and the whole gang from uni ler.. I miss you guys more than I realize. Until now, I wished that I could spend more time with you guys.
Well, today I had a really wonderful lunch time with xq at Sushi King. Never felt so happy in a long time when I ate with her. Thanks for spending your weekend with me even though you had such a packed schedule. Appreciate it lots.
Me bday is coming! Hehe.. Kind of looking forward to it.. It's my 21st birthday.. Though I might not spend it with any of my close friends... but I have my sis and Danny to celebrate with me! =D
I actually thought that I didn't want to celebrate it, but now, I kind of want to... hehe..
Before I forget, I want to congratulate (not in any particular order la.. dun terasa k.. :p) Thana, Jamie, Grace, Tomi... and the rest of the 15 people from our church who is graduating! May you have an extremely blessed life ahead of you with Christ!
Btw, sorry Mich, for not going to Bukit Merah even tho I said I'd go.. Really needed to rest.. Please arrange for another one... Hehe...
An emptiness so deep...
Void inside I don't know where...
Emotionally drained...
Losing all sense of "Heart"
Feeling so far from Father, everything seems not right
Wanting to board a plane and go somewhere far
Let me run away this 1 time. I don't think I can stand anymore
Father, today I cry out to You.. Carry me on Your shoulders.
A broken state I might be in
Lost I truly am.
Drowning on dry land I am
I want to just disappear...
