Heart

What is the heart?

There might be 2 different 'hearts' as i know. The physical heart, which pumps blood around in your body, and another heart, which is where you experience all your emotions. The heart that pumps blood around your body is complex, yet, not as complex as your 'other' heart. My heart is feeling a lot of different emotions all at the same time! It's like an overdose of different drugs or something like that. Is this what it means to have a change of heart, there has to be some wound, then great pain, then healing. ?


God made me a complex being, a being with a unique blend of attitude, emotions, and the way I make decision. It's so complex that I don't even understand myself now.


Sometimes, I feel so 'screwed' up, sometimes, i feel that I'm doing the right thing, sometimes, I just feel like my heart has been thorn into shreds, sometimes, it feels like it's gonna burst.


Even though I feel a little delirious at times, I still believe in my heart, that God will carry me through this period of time, through this season, and that I will arise from this stronger, and more matured. I will need all the prayer and support form you guys. I really need to feel Jesus here with me right now.

Orchestra Performance Pictures

Universiti Teknologi Petronas Orchestra (UTPO) performance at KLCC Malaysian Philharmonic Orchestra (MPO) Foyer

Back...Errr... which side?

Just a quick update on my fist day at UTP, starting from the day I left Kuching.

This is the first post that I'm posting from my new laptop. =) Am so proud of my new Dell 6400 laptop. It's really smooth and I really just love it. Praise be to God who provided for this computer through my parents!

Well, I'm now back at campus. I flew to KL on Monday night and i reached home on early Tuesday morning. On Tuesday, I met up with Cheryl, Mun Khea and Sheri at Mid Valley. It was so kind of che to ask Sheri to come along, as I won't be seeing her already, cause she's leaving for Adelaide soon. We had lunch at Nandos. Before the food came, che said want to take pictures, but somehow, she forgot! Lol...

After the wonderful lunch, we went to "loiter" around MidValley for a while, shopped for some of che's stuff, this and that, then my sis came, and we went our seperate ways. That night, I had a wonderful steamboat dinner with my sis and danny, and I was so full that I didn't eat any supper after that.. hahaha...

Then came wednesday morning! I woke up at 6 in the morning, and realised that I was still in the living room, I was asleep infront of my laptop. I quickly got into the room, and slept some more, for my body was really tired. I rested till around 9, and I heard Duke *the new puppy at my sister's home* squealing at the laundry area. I tot it must be really upset for it has been at the laundry area for the whole night and my sister didn't let him out this morning, so i got up to let him into the house but Danny was there, playing with him. Duke is still going through potty training and he hasn't learnt much for today, did his business in the house twice. The first time, Danny cleaned it up, then after they went to work, Duke did it again in the living room! That time, I was about to leave the house to go to Pudu bus station, so i quickly cleaned up the poop, and put duke in the back. It's so sad to leave the puppy like that. Kind of miss it already. haha...

The bus ride back to campus seemed so so so so long and I was so tired but I couldn't sleep. I reached my university gate at around 6 Pm. and my good friend Jesse came to pick me from the gate. I got unpacked and all, and by 10 pm, I was on DC++ already! Hahaha... This semester is going to be a great and wonderful semester because it is the semester that the Lord has made! =)

This is a wonderful SUNDAY!!

A powerful hurricane hit Kuching City Today! :P

I was on my way down from Bethany and then i heard the howling of a mighty wind, and lo and behold, a great down pour of rain and winds that could throw off a tractor *exaggerate a little la ha... =) but it's really strong winds la :p * suddenly hit Kuching! Well, today i had the chance to do what Che Chung has been doing for more than a year - Send people home after Sunday service! So i sent Daphne back home, and on the way, we saw a tree (pictured above la ) with a broken branch and I had to drive up the curb to go through! It was really cool... cause you can't do that during normal days la... drive on the curb.. hahaha... Then after i sent Daphne back, the rest of us in the car went to Curry House! It was a good thing that when we reached the eating place, the rain had stopped, and we could eat *peacefully* without the raging winds blowing into our faces and rain falling on our food.

Then, after lunch, we went to Pastor Cheli's house. By the time I reached there, I was so tired, and thought of just going home, but then Simon had to update the Bethany website ( Yeap! it's updated! Check it out guys!!) so I lent him some of my expertise in website building and stuff... No lar, all I did was gave opinions.. lolz... Then aunty Mei made a great cup of tea at around 4 pm, and that cup of tea gave me strength! haha..

At around 5 pm , Simon finally turned off his PC cause he was done and we then went home. When i reached home, I was so tired, I took a quick shower, and then went to bed! After about an hour of sleep, I got up, and then bathe, then had dinner. After dinner, went to pick Caleb up from Michael's house and then went to pick up Su Ee, then headed over to church. *Jamming Session* - Had a wonderful time just jamming with Caleb and Su Ee. It has been such a long time since i played with them and today, I had the chance. We had fun just praising God and just trying out different songs with them. It took me a while to get into the style of music that they were playing cause its so different! The funniest part was when we played the song Worship You Alone from Planet Shakers, Caleb and Su Ee took turns to play the drums, because Caleb played a little bit of the keyboard for the intro, and it was just so funny, the three of us, making music that sounded like music played by a full band! It was really great fun, thanks a lot guys! Really appreciate it.

I'll be off to KL at 9 pm tonight.. Feel sad to leave Kuching, but I have faith to believe that this year, this semester, is going to be a different one, because HE IS GOD!

Operator, The Line is Dead

Today, I'm most confused about the rates that are being offered by our mobile phone service providers. Take Hotlink plans for example.

They offer first the Talk and SMS plans. That's pretty simple to understand. Choose talk plan if you call a lot and choose SMS if you SMS a lot. So that's simple right...? BUT, now you have the wonderful Total plan and Easy plan. When i checked the rates, it's so confusing! I can't understand it! I think it's just some scheme to make ppl call more at a more expensive rate by giving them a few little points so that they can make more calls for "free".

Okay, I admit it.. I'm just too bored at home. I don't know what to do, so i come online to update my blog. I can't go out cause I'm pretty broke at this moment! Still, I believe that God is in control and soon, He'll give me more money. Well, I pray that I'd use my money wisely then.

I'm bored, i'm bored!! Everyone else has gone back to school, back to work, what else.. erm.. back to their serious all work and no play mode... But I'm still in my holidays! I want to enjoy this holiday!!

I shall also remember that today shall be a blessed day cause God has made this day!

Btw, I'm getting a new laptop soon. =D I basically can't wait for it to come! A wonderful Dell Inspiron 6400 with Core 2 Duo and a X1300 Mobiliti Radeon GPU.

New year, New post!

2006 is over and it's a new year! 2007!!!

Many things happened in 2006, things were not easy in 2006, it was a rough year I would say. Nevertheless, I still see God's goodness shine through and carried me through all those hard times.

Many times I have failed God, but still, God is always faithful to me. Sometime middle of this year, I discovered this song. I've listened to it many times since the album came out but it never hit me till the day I read Chris's blog and found this song on her blog.

A thousand times I fail

Still your mercy remains

Should i stumble again

I'm caught in your grace

Taken from "From the Inside Out" by United Live

I've gone through many things in 2006, many times I have failed God but God has been faithful to me. He has never let me go. This i praise him for. God still gave me life, a life that I do not deserve!

Many times, in 2006, I thought of giving up, but God's faithfulness kept me sane and alive. There were times when I dragged myself to church but eveytime when I go, remember the sermon about the woman with the issue of blood and how she pressed into the presence of God and she got healing. So i pressed in, I laid my troubles at the feet of Jesus and I pressed into the presence of God and many many times, God just held me in His arms assuring me that He is there with me. Sometimes, I don't feel Him, but I have faith and He gives me the faith to believe!

Last night at watch night servive, Pastor Cheli shared from Ephesians 1:3-6.

• I am blessed
• I am chosen
• I am predestined

We are blessed with every spititual blessing in heaven. God has blessed us! What we are tasting here on earth is just "peanuts" compared to what He has in store for us in heaven!

We are chosen by God. We have been chosen by God even before we were born to be holy and blameless in His sight.

We are predestined to be adpoted as his sons through Jesus Christ. We are predestined to be blessed wether we like it or not! (cool eh!)

Well, I've left 2006 behind. I'm starting anew with Christ into 2007! God is going to bless this year even more! God is going to move in mightier ways. A storm is coming. A mighty wind. A flood that will come into this land.

Malaysia, Malaysia
Malaysia is on fire
We don't need the devil
Cause the devil is a liar

2007 is going to be a great year cause the Word of God says so! I believe that I am blessed, I believe that I am chosen and I believe that I have been predestined by God to be His child! To God be the glory!

Blessed new year!!