I need

someone to listen to me complain

someone to pour my heart to

someone to hold the line on the other side and not say anything

someone to spend a few silent moments with

Microscopic

It is a feeling I cannot describe.

I don't know what I am looking for.

I just feel empty.

I can't sleep.

 

I just feel empty.

The finals blues?

The Vow

Taking it for granted,

Being too comfortable,

In a place where I feel I do not need you,

I strayed.

You called me many times,

I told myself that I must not leave you.

Yet my feet walked a different direction.

I desired to do what I wasn't doing.

I did what my selfishness wanted.

I thought I was safe

For I always played at the border.

I played with sparks, which started a small fire.

I enjoyed the warmth that it gave.

I knew what was coming,

Still, I chose to lay beside the fire.

When I awoke, the fire had surrounded me.

I knew it was coming.

I didn't call out to you, for I know I should be responsible.

I have forgotten your goodness while I struggled

With my own strength, I tried

I tried and tried, I pushed, I crawled,

I knew I needed your help.

Little did I know,

Your hands were always near me,

Ready to lift me from the flames.

For when I called your name, You saved me.

Then I remembered your words

"I will never leave you,

Nor will I ever forsake you"

I now know, this journey is not a short one.

Though I want it to be, I have to persevere.

The struggles are not short lived.

Though you have saved me from the flames,

I must keep myself from the matches that started them.

I am weak, but in you, I am strong.

The Sky

When you left, the atmosphere felt like

I was a kite, searching for a dream,

The sky after the rain, will it have the radiance of a sunshine?

I silently stared at the sky, searching for the emotions of being lost.

But I can only smile, hoping for the rainbow after the rain.

 

TIAN KONG - by Jolin

Final Year

This year is the last year of my degree. I certainly hope that it will end this year. I don't think I can take it anymore. I feel like I have lost all desire to excel, I don't see the point in doing well anymore. Sometimes, I just don't care. All I want is go home, and not be responsible over anything. But I know I can't do that. Taking responsibility for your own life is not easy.

I used to think it's so super cool to grow up and take charge of your own life. Yes, it is in a sense, you get to decide for yourself, you get to choose what you want to do (to some extent) and you are responsible for every action that you take.

I need Your grace to get up again. I have lost faith even in myself. The finals for this semester is coming. I really need to do well. I can't just give up when I'm so near to finishing it. Help me persevere. Grant me strength.

"Let not my will be done, but Yours."

Update

Work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work

 

Work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work

It's not easy

It's not easy waiting and being unsure of what you are waiting for. Sometimes you feel afraid that what you are waiting for might not actually be there at all.

* * *

I have been running towards you, I have been trying to be brave and tell you up front, but I fear that I might cause you to run even further. Have I waited too long? Am I too late?

For more than four years, I've hoped, I've put fourth all that I have, I've thrown in all my pieces. I want to reach out to you, but I'm afraid I will cause you to run even further. Have I waited too long? Am I too late?

When I first knew you, your words comforted me, your words made me feel warmth. Now I feel you so distant, I wished I had done a little more, I wished that I had given myself a chance when I had the chance. But I was afraid, that I will cause you to run even further. Have I waited too long? Am I too late?

Have I waited too long? Am I too late? I just want to know Sher, Have I waited too long? Am I too late?

* * *

2 movies that gripped my heart

Last Friday was movie night.   The movie title - Facing the giants.

Only one comment, watch it, please do. I'm the kind of guy who don't cry when I watch touching movies, but this movie, gripped my heart, the messages so strong, I had to struggle so hard to hold my tears back. (It's a Christian movie by the way.. and it's not any ordinary Christian movie, it's a movie that described how great is our God.)

 

Movie 2- The Mist

The first time, I felt so emotional, I felt so into the movie.

In the end, all I could do was scream. Literally scream...

Oh yeah.. do watch it too.

 

Good night.