Desperate

Getting up is never easy, especially if you have fallen a million times. I find myself at this place right now, like I'm beginning to accept it to be part of my life. But I know You didn't call me to a life of compromising, a life of defeat. You have won the victory, why am I not able to hold on to it?

I am not brave enough to go through this alone. I am weak, I know, I acknowledge that. I need you! I always want to go home because I know, I can find strength when I'm home. What should I do? I can't keep running and running... Help me... I'm looking for a miraculous change that I know I shouldn't look for. Help me change my mind set, renew my mind from this corruption. I need You afresh God!

Just like Tattoo

Sometimes I want to move on
I find it too difficult to even forget you

You have a place in my heart, always... forever.

Your name, I will always remember
Your smile, I can never forget

You can't be removed, Just like tattoo.

The Interval

If you have realized, I've just published a few posts today, well, they are actually posts written during my time at home. I was not able to post them because of the dial-up that my mum is still using.

Well, the flight to KL seemed to really suck. I just didn't want to leave home so soon. Sitting here, I look forward to my next break, on February.

The six days seem to fly by, but I must say, they are well spent. Catching up with so many people, meeting up and just connect with one another for even a moment, felt really great for me. I guess the best time was when a few of us went to have dinner at Batu Lintang.

 

Christmas service was really great too. I had the opportunity to share what I felt Christmas was too! Of course, after the service ended, it's time for photos!!

After recovering from the blinding flashes, we proceeded to Shellyn's house and ended the day at Li Ern's house. Well, naturally, visiting means FOOD, FOOD, FOOD and FUN!

Cheers to JESUS!

Yong Shen: I got sorethroat... BUT I can't help myself!!!

Chris: MMhmm (mouth too full to talk)... (mumble mumble mumble.. ) 

Beautiful sisters!

I wonder how did this start?? During Christmas visiting??

Joseph: Harder lah! No feel wan...

That's most of what I did in Kuching. Dinner, breakfast, lunch, and dinner again.. The cycle seems to never end. It certainly great to be home! Looking forward to CNY dee.. Hehe.. A good 6 days of no worries, and just great fellowship.

Want to thank my parents for buying me the tickets to go home this time. Really appreciate it!

Listerine

Yesterday, I proved to myself that the mouthwash - Listerine is really potent. : - As I was having my shower, I saw something black wiggling around near the drain hole of the shower. I couldn't be sure what it was, but I guessed it must be a worm. So I took some Listerine, and poured it on the "worm". I saw it wiggle, wiggle, then after a few moments, the worm stopped moving. After I put on my glasses, I could see that it was a centipede, about 7 - 8 centimeters long, DEAD! So.. if it could kill a centipede, be sure never to swallow your mouthwash, and be sure, be rest assured that when you use Listerine, your mouth is really clean. It is VERY clean!

Cheryl

She's a great friend

A wonderful prayer partner

A teacher she will be,

A good teacher, I know she is.

 

She has a heart for the lost

A desire to see them saved

Wherever she goes, hearts are touched

Lives are changed.

 

She might look harmless

BUT she packs a PUNCH!

Where she set her feet on

She makes an impact, no one can deny.

 

Keep on shining for Jesus wherever you will be che'

The Lord is your strength and your shield!

Home

I looked forward to this day full of anticipation. I felt so excited, I found myself dancing in my shoes while I boarded the plane. As I sat in the seat and dozed off, all I thought of was getting home. The flight was a little rough, all I could do to make myself feel better was to close my eyes, and try to get into deeper sleep.

As I waited for my turn at the immigration counter, I felt joy, looking at the all familiar Kuching "Pue Ki Teo"

When I reached home, I just couldn't decide what emotion or feeling I was having; joy, satisfaction, fatigue,  sleepiness, it all got shaken together. As I got into bed for a short nap, I couldn't help myself but tell myself, "Yes, I'm home!"

 

It might be a short 6 days, but I'll make the best of it.

Should I?

I want to get a new phone.. Should I get it now? Arrgh... I can't decide. Help me!!!

The end, or a new start?

Yesterday was "D Day"

I had my internship presentation. I didn't really prepare much, except for the slides, and setting up the presentation, getting my colleagues to join me in the presentation. I got Wendy, the OQA inspector to do the live demo of the software for me. Hehe.. I guess that really impressed my lecturer. Wakaka.. =D

Anyways, she gave me ideas to bring my project further, and even mentioned things like commercialize, and EDX, and Geneva! Hmm.. I'll really have to ask Father and ask of His opinion and approval. Hehe.. If this is it, I might be here to make my first fortune and a name in the software industry. Though it's something small, but we all have to start somewhere.

My my my.. Internship is surely ending.. I'm going to miss my office, strangely enough, I'm going to miss coming to work i think. It's so much nicer than waking up and going to classes and sit for exams.

* * *

Going to be in KL by tonight, and then reach home TOMORROW!!! I'm going HOME!!!!!

Details

When God calls, He doesn't usually give you all the details as to what you need to do. Why? Because He wants you to follow Him DAILY. ~ God is more interested in a love relationship with you than He is in what you can do for Him. His desire is for you to love Him.

Excerpts from Experiencing God

I used to think that loving God = doing God's work. Now I realize, God's work, is His assignment for you, not a measure of your love for Him, or His love for you. God has always focused on the relationship while I have always focused on what I can do for Him. He is not interested in the work that I can do for Him, but He is interested in me spending time with Him. This brings new light to the story where Mary who chose to sit at Jesus feet to listen to what He has to say, and Martha who was worried and distracted with all that she has to prepare for Jesus. Won't you agree? Be blessed~

God is indeed great!

Letting in.

This morning, I awoke with thoughts running in my head, thinking and thinking. Of the things that I have done, of my struggles and what I'm going through. I asked myself, why is God not so evident in my life lately.

I looked at the things that are happening to me, and when I saw the book Experiencing God, I remembered 1 thing. That if we want to experience God, we have to allow him into our lives. Allowing God into our lives means to let God be a part of our lives. Letting God know what is happening in our lives, even when we know that He already knows it!

Being with God is a relationship, and part of nurturing that relationship is by telling Him our coming in and our going out. I learnt that we make it difficult for God to be a part of our lives when we communicate with Him, we just say a few words, when He asks us 5 questions, we just answer with 1 word, I guess it will pretty much hurt God because it just shows very plainly that we are not very interested in talking to Him.

Today, I feel very distant from You God, I honestly do. I feel like the void in my heart has gotten bigger the last few weeks. I have tried to fill the void with many things that are temporary. With things that I know are of no substance, no weight. God, I regret the times when I did not make the extra effort to "let you in" to my life. Today, I resolve this God; I want to make an effort to spend time with You. I want to make an effort to make everyday a day that is worthy to be offered to You as my offering to You. God, I want to spend everyday in Your presence, I know that right now, I am weak, but I stand not on my own strength, but on Your grace. I stand not on my on faith, but on your everlasting faithfullness to me. Without You, I am just air, I make no impact, no significance. God, I want to let you IN my life.

Satisfied

Today, after work, we went home, rested a while, and I eventually slept till around 7 pm. When I got up, Joel was already getting ready to go out for dinner... Tonight is Bak Kut Teh night. Yep, Bak Kut Teh in Penang, not Klang this time. Was really hungry by the time we got there, I think it must be nearly 8 pm we got seated, all 6 of us, except 1 didn't have the Bak Kut Teh cause he finds it "difficult to eat". For my housemates who might have come across this webpage, you will know who lah. =D The place is a corner house, opposite Tesco Extra on Penang Island. I'm sure it's pretty easy to find, somewhere near Pekaka area I guess...

Anyways.. the meal was really really good. I guess partly because I was really hungry when we started eating. Well, I'd say it's not as super good as the one in Klang but by far, this is really nice Bak Kut Teh. The soup was not too salty, the taste was full, and it just tasted so right.

Should be going to bed already.. Bye!

Soon

So looking forward to next Thursday. December 20th, LCCT. I wish I could go back a little longer.

Somehow, I suddenly feel so empty. I hope that I can fill that emptiness after I get back. It's so hard to even understand myself at times.. This sucks... I hope the day ends soon... Want to go back and just sleep...

God, help me...

Double Tagged

Yaaarr.. I haven't have the "energy" to blog lately. I kind of have things I want to write, but just feel lazy.. hehe.. Anyways.. I have been tagged... Twice.. which means.. I'll answer them at the same time! Hahaha..

So here goes...

. . .

LIST OUT THE TOP 5 PRESENTS YOU WISH FOR:
(a) Sony Ericsson W580I
(b) Decent ear phones
(c) A place to call my own
(d) A car
(e) A great holiday with Father

LIST OUT THE REASONS FOR YOUR CHOICES:
- The phone I have right now, is not functioning well...
- Satisfy my ears
- I want a home that I can go back to
- That has been on my list for a very very very long time.. :p
- A closer relationship with Him

THE PERSON WHO TAGG-ED YOU IS:
Chua Han Jim
Yan Hui

5 IMPRESSIONS OF HIM/HER:
Jim
(a) Great attitude
(b) Fun... and funny
(c) Very creative
(d) Giving, not selfish, generous at heart
(e) Does not do things half baked... You get what I mean.. =D

Yan Hui
(a) Cute, funny and a techno blur
(b) Generally blur at times
(c) Very friendly
(d) Likes to talk
(e) Things are never really that dull when she's around..

MOST MEMORABLE THINGS HE/SHE HAS DONE FOR YOU:
Jim
This might not be for me, but it's something that I really appreciate from you.. When you helped out during the BBQ Bash in COP Tronoh. Stayed up throughout the night for a few days straight.. Just to get things ready! Thanks a lot!

Yan Hui
Hmm... what ah..?? Tagged me?? Hehe.. Never spent so much time together, but have been friends through reading and commenting on each others blogs..

MOST LOVED INVENTION(does not need to be technologically advance):
MSN Messenger!

WHAT DO YOU DESPISE THE MOST:
Aimlessness, just going through the motion of life..

6 PEOPLE YOU WANNA TAG:
(a) Chris
(b) Angela
(c) Cheryl
(d) Kianu
(e) Ah Fai
(f) Jackie

2 Different Worlds

Penang and Kuching are two different worlds. It's so hot here, I keep gettiing constant headaches, while it's raining everyday in Kuching and places are getting flooded.

Its just too hot to do anything at all.

18 more days till I get home.. Just 18 more days...

Too Much

FaceBook and Friendster? It's just to much to keep up with. :p

WHY do I even have both? Face book has just too much applications.. I won't be going there for a long while.

*   *   *

Anyways.. this is the pizza I had somewhere in Penang at a place called Golden Crab restaurant.

Just add RM 2 for extra cheese, and this is what you get. SUPERB pizza. YUM~

After the late dinner, we went for HITMAN at GSC Gurney.

If you've played the game, you would like this movie very much, but if you have not, maybe it's time you get to know who this Agent 47 is.

I want to go home... home home home...
December 20th.. How I wish I am already on the plane..
I just want to go home..
Away from the pain..

...

ok.. I just wrote something that I dare not post. =.=''

An old lady, a best friend, and the woman of your dreams

Something I got from the mail again.. But it's something very clever. Please post your answers, if you haven't got the emai! Haha..


You are driving through the highway on a stormy night in a 2 seater. As you come across a bus stop, you see:

1. An old lady who looks like she is about to die.
2. Your friend who once saved your life.
3. The man/ woman of your dreams. (For those who might be a little confused.. if you are a guy, choose woman instead of man and vice versa. Haha. :p)

Knowing that you have only 1 more place in your car, what would you do? Who would you save from the storm?

The answer:

Only 1 out of a 100 people (from the source) could give a very satisfactory answer. There's no right / wrong answer but this I would say is the best. Heard of the saying, "Hit 2 birds with one stone"? Well, this hit 3!

"I would stop at the bus stop, hand my car keys to my friend, have him drive the old lady to the hospital, and wait for the bus with the lady."

:cheers:

Even THEY think it's expensive!

I just visited an Expat website (Expat Focus) about working and living in Malaysia. And they say that Malaysia is heaven for expats that have a good income package. They agree that cost of living in Malaysia is expensive for Malaysians. Just compare someone working in UK earns 2000 pounds and a Malaysian earning 2000 Ringgit. In UK, it costs an average of 600 pounds for a laptop, and in Malaysia, RM 3000.

Just a simple comparison of percentage will show how low the living standard is in Malaysia. In UK, they use about 30% of their salary to buy a laptop, but a Malaysian, earning the same ammount of money (don't convert, just look at it dollar to dollar. I'll explain why I do not want to convert later on) spends 150% of his salary to buy a laptop. Imagine this, in UK, you can buy a laptop, pay for your rent, bills and still have enough to eat in the first month, while in Malaysia, you won't get to buy your laptop after 3 months if you consider rental and bills. If you are somehow superhuman and do not have to eat and sleep, you might be able to get your laptop after your second month working!

Why do I say we do not convert currency? This is because we are comparing between two people who have the same qualifications and they earn the same amount (not value) of money. 2000 Pounds and 2000 Ringgit. An average Malaysian spends about 10 % more on their groceries compared to their neighbours (Singapore for example).

Check out the article in Malaysia Today (it's a link... click it...come on... go ahead....), and many other sources. You will see how expensive it is to live in Malaysia. What is going on here? Isn't Malaysia a land full of resources, full of possibilities? Why are we paying so much more for goods and sometime even inferior goods! We pay about Rm 50,000 for a Proton Wira, while in Thailand, a new Honda City is going for About RM 40,000! (this value is to be verified again)


Just do a little more research on this, and you will find that Malaysia is in deed a very expensive place to live in. The standard of living is low compared to our neighbours. I'm not encouraging anyone to move out of Malaysia, instead, what are we doing to improve our lives. Is everything that we do in vain? Why do we work so hard, yet live such a mediocre life, while others in the world are working like we are but living a much comfortable life.

Isn't it time we ask for a change?

Feelin It

Are you feeling it? I am.. I feel poor. Suddenly. Out of the blue. Shockingly.

I thought that I was doing okay. That I had enough, that I will never feel so poor.

Cost of living has indeed increased a huge bit. I mean I used to think 10 cents, 50 cents is not much. I mean really. What can you do with 50 cents? Not even park your car for 1 hour! Just like the malay saying "sikit-sikit, lama lama jadi bukit" Can't be denied. Last week, we went to a mamak for nasi kandar. We had our usual of rice, chicken, and an egg. Usually, it's Rm4.90, but that evening, they charged us RM 5.50! 60 cents increase!

Everything rises, but our pay stays the same. How are we to live a life of bliss? Haha.. Guess this is it lah.. Life on earth. Not to be easy breezy. Even God said, we will have to toil for the ground to bear fruits. So here we are.. Toiling for our tables to have food on them everyday. Sometimes when I think of it, I fear.. "What if I can't provide for my family?" Oh the shame, the disgrace... I dream great dreams, I have great ambitions, but how will I attain them by playing so much dota? Haha.. Should I remove all the games on my PC? It's something I find so hard to let go.

Maybe I'm thinking too much.. Sometimes, when I look ahead, I fear that I won't be able to provide for my family, that I will have to work so extra hard just to have a comfortable life. I'll just have to trust God for my provision ler. Seriously, without God, I am nothing.

Arrr!! It's so hard to be an adult and be responsible for your own life. Being an adult is more than freedom, it's responsibility, it's being accountable for your own life. No longer do you look to your parents for food, no longer do you look to your parents when you are in need (maybe sometimes lah ). You are responsible for your own welfare,
The Malaysian climate is so tensed. Economically and politically. All so tensed. Will there be a change? I hope so.. For the better or worse, it's better than no change at all, then we will never know.